yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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