oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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