I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
