I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
