once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Acid is not a monday night drug
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
