I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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