I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
