Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
