he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
