you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
