I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
