Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
