The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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