I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize