R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
