i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
