i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
