What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
