Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
