Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't deserve a penis
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
