Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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