I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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