Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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