Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
