just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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