he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
NoShamevember. You game?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
