I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
