Buhtt sex?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
