I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
