Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
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