I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
