dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
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