Is it normal to miss your booty call?
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize