he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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