At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Houston, we have a blender
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
