I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
