I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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