I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize