i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
