Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
