Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
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