I'm drive I can fine osifer
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
