things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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