My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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