Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
