No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
