You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
