We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Randomize
