she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize
