Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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