singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
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