Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
