i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I have post one night stand depression
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
