the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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