Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
