Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
