This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
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