i think my tv is drunk
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
