i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize