i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
don't judge my taste in strippers
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
