Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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