Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
