she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize