Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
