My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
