did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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