Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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