I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
