I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Randomize
