i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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