And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
The power of my boobs compel you
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Randomize
