Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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