He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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