I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize